Photo: Ryoji Iwata

A PERFECT FIT

I confess sometimes I don't fit in.

Like recently, at a local SCBWI writer's meeting.*  I've only attended twice, but I didn't have a good feeling about this group.  

The group meets once a month and consists mostly of unpublished writers. Though everyone was nice and polite, I couldn't relate very well to them and they couldn't relate to me.  Perhaps that was due to the fact that we hadn't had the opportunity to get to know one another.    

In addition, I noticed that the vibe was cold.  Most of the folks were very quiet.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there were no lively discussions—the atmosphere was kind of blah.  Part of the reason was because we didn't have much time for conversation because the leader asked us to write for 25 minutes inspired by prompts.  I felt like I was in a class.  Maybe I've missed the purpose of these meetings.  Maybe these meetings were intended for quiet writing. 

That's not all.  Another attendee assumed I knew little about writing and publishing and thought I could benefit from taking classes at the local literary center.  It was a kind gesture and I wasn't offended, but she never asked about my experience.  I had to explain that I'd been traditionally published and I have taught writing classes at the local literary center.  

Lastly, the leader came across with an I-know-it-all attitude.  At one point I had to speak up and challenge something he said (in a polite, respectful way) when he gave out inaccurate information.  He barely acknowledged what I said.  It's hard for me to be around people who can't concede they might be wrong.  

When time was nearly up, one writer said she had some ideas for the next meeting. I asked what she had in mind and she went on about where we could meet and have coffee and bagels.  OK, good to know, but what are we going to work on?  To her, food was more important than business.  Clearly, some people have a different agenda than I do.

I had wanted an opportunity to get to know other writers, to learn what others were working on, to understand each other's goals, to give and receive feedback, and to lend support.  But it didn't turn out that way.    

It's odd.  Halfway through the meeting today, I felt a migraine coming on.  My body was trying to tell me this writer's meeting probably wasn't right for me.  Later that day I wondered how other local chapters ran their meetings.  So, I posted a question for SCBWI members on Face Book wanting to know about the purpose of their get togethers.  Here's my favorite reply:  "Community building. To get to know others in the regions, to share knowledge and resources. To ask questions.  To make friends."  Yes!  That's want I want from my local group!

The sad thing is, I really want to be part of a local writer's group, to support others, to share manuscripts, and to talk about our challenges, our goals, our highs and lows.  One day, I hope to find a group where I'll feel comfortable, one where everyone can get to know one another, contribute, and help each other succeed.  Our local group is scheduled to meet later this month.  I will attend just to see how things go.  Maybe the agenda will improve and it will be exactly what I'm looking for.  But if there are no changes, I'll know this group will never be a perfect fit.  

À la prochaine!

*The Society for Children's Writers and Illustrators