Marie-Anne Lecoeur - The French Chic Expert

GOING FRENCH CHIC

I'm obsessed with French chic expert Marie-Anne Lecoeur.  One of my friends knows I adore all things French and thought I'd enjoy following her channel.  Now, I can't get enough of Marie-Anne Lecoeur's YouTube videos.  To date (2025) she has 265K subscribers and has recorded over 900 videos. Honestly,   I've watched more than 100 to learn about her French fashion tips.

Marie-Anne Lecoeur inspires me.  She shows women how to wear shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, cardigans, coats, shoes, scarves and hats fashionably.  She assures us that we can look young and stylish.  For example, she demonstrates that a button shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes can make a nice outfit.  Throw on a blazer, add a handbag and we can look très chic. 

She bases her advice on five style principles: 

1. French Women Ignore Trends.
2. Less is More.
3. Wear Color and Pattern Sparingly.
4. Practical Footwear is Chic.
5. French Style Combines Casual and Elevated Items.

By following her fashion tips, I've learned how to elevate my style.  If I'm running an errand, going out for lunch or to class, or shopping for groceries, I put together cute outfits with a matching belt and shoes.  Even my hair stylist noticed.  When I strolled into the salon he said, "Well, don't we look fancy!" 

I take note of the styles, colors, and fabric of the clothes Marie-Anne wears and try to mimic her look.  Finding similar tops have been fairly easy, but the hardest part for me is finding the right shoe for the outfit. 

Marie-Anne wears white trainers and blue Converse sneakers to complete a casual look.  I already have a pair of white tennis shoes so they'll coordinate well with many of my outfits.  I found a pair of navy-blue Converse tennis shoes, but it took many returns to get the right size.  For me, they ran 2 sizes bigger (I wear size 8 and had to buy a size 6).  My next goal is to find stylish brown loafers and perhaps a pair of comfy black sneakers.  I now know that cute shoes can really make a nice-looking outfit.    

Marie-Anne offers great suggestions but I don't always follow her advice.  She is taller than me and can pull off wearing long skirts and dresses.  She also wears a lot of satin blouses, which look fabulous on her, but that kind of material is too fancy for me for casual wear.  However, most of the time I can find blouses and shirts made of linen, cotton or polyester that are just as pretty and I pair them together with jeans and a belt to pull off a nice outfit.  In fact, many of the clothes can be found on Amazon for much less than at a French boutique.

Just so you know, I don't make watching her videos a daily habit.  But when I need to take a break from writing (or if writer's block sets in) I tune in to listen to her styling advice.  It is not a waste of time for me.  I not only learn new ways to create outfits, I can listen to her speak French when she visits boutique owner Adeline le Tourneur.  Listening to their conversations is a huge bonus for me because it is a great way to improve my French.  

Marie-Anne is lively, knowledgeable, and fun.  I adore her taste and sensibility.  In fact, she has given me beaucoup de confidence in putting together outfits.  And people have been noticing.  Just today a saleswoman complimented my shirt.  So if you're fashion-conscious, check out her videos.  They are relatively short and I think you'll like them.  Who knows?  Maybe, you'll be inspired to elevate your style, too.    

À la prochaine! 

Fashion Friday with Marie-Anne:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9TNvbM9T3I

PICKY, PICKY  

I have to admit I'm particular about grocery shopping.

I don't make a list on my phone—it's handwritten.  (Okay, it's old-fashioned)

At the top of the page are the dinner menus for each day of the week.  Below that, I list fruits and veggies, the first department customers approach when they enter the store.  My goal is to make my list mirror the layout of the store to make grocery shopping fast and efficient.

After completing the list, I circle foods with a pink marker to check how many we have on hand like apples, oranges, and soups to get an accurate count.  Then, I rewrite the list.  Why?  I'm a neat-freak.  Writing the list twice sounds crazy, but for me it has to be easy to read.  I want to glance at the list, reach for the item, and move on to the next one.  Quickly.

One neat grocery list. 

If you were to map my steps, you'd find that I begin in produce, stroll through the bakery, go to the meat department, the bread aisle, condiment aisle, canned goods, cereals, baking goods, paper products, pet products, snacks, dairy, frozen foods and if needed, the pharmacy department.  All of which takes about twenty-five minutes. 

There is also a system to loading my cart.  I place two small sacks in the child-seat and they are perfect for holding apples, plums, peaches, broccoli, asparagus, and green peppers.  A sturdy bag goes in the basket of the cart for larger produce items.  Smaller cloth bags are for dairy and frozen foods, meats, and boxes of cereal and pasta and canned goods.  Laundry detergent and milk don't need to be bagged since they have handles. Birdseed and paper towels ride under the cart.  

For the most part, shopping for groceries is easy and quick.  But there are times when it can be challenging.  Occasionally, the store has run out of the item that I need.  Most of the time it is not a big deal.  But if the store doesn't carry a major ingredient for a recipe I'll be cooking that week, I might get a little panicky.  This forces me to come up with a new recipe on the spot without being able to refer to a cookbook for the ingredients.  A lot of times my go-to recipe is spaghetti and meat sauce, which requires purchasing only three ingredients: crushed tomatoes, spaghetti, and beef. 

One of the biggest challenge I've had is learning the placement of foods after Kroger decides to rearrange the aisles.  It takes me weeks to remember the new homes of grocery items.  This change makes it more difficult for me to make out my shopping list because I have to remember the new layout of the store.  And sometimes, the new arrangement doesn't make any sense.  To this day, I'm still confused as to why the diced tomatoes aren't placed in the canned veggie aisle and why the yogurt is not with the dairy department.

Go ahead, you can say it:  picky, picky.  It's true.  I won't deny it.  Going to the grocery takes over an hour (counting the drive and the time it takes to clean, shelf, and refrigerate the groceries) and several sheets of note paper, but it usually goes smoothly and I've got it down to a science—and that makes this writer one happy shopper.

À la prochaine! 

 

                                                                                                                            Photo: valleyspringrecovery.com

NARCISSISM UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL 

I can honestly say I'm not a fan of narcissistic people.

And I found out recently, after a trip to Ireland, that two men in my life are narcissists!  Thomas lives out of town and the Charley is a relative and both have caused me heartache and grief. 

It's amazing and fortuitous how God puts people (for good or for bad) in our life. We were in Dublin hoping to have dinner at the Brazen Head, the oldest pub in Ireland.  Because of its popularity, there was a chance we wouldn't get in.  But when we entered, a table had just opened.  We sat nearly elbow to elbow with other patrons.  In Europe, I don't mind the coziness.  It's part of the ambience and I love it. 

While my husband Jim and I waited for our meals, we talked about our daughter's trip to North Carolina and how that vacation would be good for her.  A woman seated at the table next to me touched my arm and said, "I can't help but comment, but I heard you mention North Carolina and that's where I live."  So, we struck up a conversation and I found out she was a behavioral therapist.  Curious to get her opinion, I asked her what she could make of Thomas and Charley's controlling and non-empathetic personality traits.  She summed it with one word:  narcissism.  

It's funny that it took a trip to Ireland to make sense of these individuals.  Now, I had to figure how to deal with them.  

First, I wanted to understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) better.  I found an article posted at Valley Spring Recovery Center, a mental health treatment facility.  The site states: "NPD is associated with grandiosity, an insatiable need for admiration, and difficulty in empathizing with others. This disorder manifests in various forms, including grandiose narcissism, which is marked by self-importance and entitlement, and vulnerable narcissism, where individuals exhibit sensitivity to criticism and an underlying sense of insecurity.

"The main characteristics of NPD include an inflated sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of success and power, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain, as mentioned in an article by PsychCentral titled “5 Types of Narcissism and How to Spot Each.” Individuals with NPD also display arrogant behavior and a profound inability to recognize the feelings and needs of others, contributing to dysfunctional relationships."

Wanting to learn more, I found another interesting article in which Dr. Zach Rosenthal, a clinical psychologist at Duke Health discusses the symptoms of NPD, how it is diagnosed, and the individualized approach he takes for treating the disorder.  He describes the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder using the acronym “SPECIAL ME.” 

1. Sense of self-importance
2. Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success 
3. Entitled
4. Can only be around people who are important or special
5. Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
6. Arrogant
7. Lack empathy
8. Must be admired
9. Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them  

There you have it.  A very rough idea about narcissism.  So, how to move forward?  

The experts say to stay assertive and set boundaries.  They advise to avoid confrontation.  Trust me, I would never consider having a discussion that had could escalate into an argument.  I know from past experiences it would not go well.   

I realize some don't mind being around narcissistic people.  They can be very charming.  For me, I do my best to steer clear.  Still, interactions will occur that can't be avoided and I will always take note of the controlling, the bad conduct, and the lack of empathy.  At least I can chalk it up to that's just how it is.  At least I get this kind of mindset.  Understanding empowers me.  By adjusting my attitude and being aware of predictable patterns, I can mitigate the chances of getting hurt again.   

À la prochaine!

https://valleyspringrecovery.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/

https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder

Dear followers,

Today, I had to say goodbye to Putty.  

I am heartbroken.  

I had been taking care of my beloved stray for over ten years.  

He had kidney failure and his eyes were vacant.  

He was in pain.  

I'm going miss seeing him press his face against the kitchen door and sleep on the deck. 

I'm going to miss my sweet Putty boy.

 

Taking a little break.

Children's Writer's World will be back soon. 

                                                                                                                                                                  Photo: Pixabay

IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU

I confess I don't understand people who lack self-awareness. People who think it's always about them. 

It kind of boggles my mind.  How can anybody be so into themselves that they don't they realize how they come across to others? And yet I wonder if they did know, would they do anything about it?  Would they change?

I am thankful there are not too many self-centered people in my life.  

However in just one day, I encountered three "it's all about me" kind of people.  

In my language class, students discuss what we'd like to work on during the semester so we can all agree on a chapter to study.  But one day, the instructor went off topic and chose his favorite subject to teach for the day.  We as a class didn't have a say.  Though he meant well and it did provide a teaching moment, nobody seemed engaged or enthusiastic.  He didn't realize that he had shifted the focus of the lesson to something he enjoyed rather than concentrating on the interests of the class.  

And during this same class one classmate hogged the floor.  All students know that before we begin class, we each have a moment to take the floor.  Most of us prepare.  But it was obvious that one student hadn't, and he hemmed and hawed to find a way to express himself.  He was flustered and this went on for quite a while.  I felt badly for him, but he was unaware of how much time he taking up.  Actually, so much time slipped away that nobody else got a chance to speak. 

Then later the same day I sent a text to family members inviting them to a holiday gathering at my home.  I planned on serving dinner for fifteen people.  So, I needed to know how many relatives planned to attend.  Easy.  A simple yes they'd be joining us or not.  But one relative found it necessary to shift the spotlight to himself and go off on a tangent about something other than the party.  This is not egregious, but it could have waited.  

Honestly dear readers, three self-centered people in one day was way too much for me.   

So how does anyone deal with this?  After a little online research, I discovered the importance of understanding the self-centered person's mindset.

Emily Simonian, LMFT, therapist at Thriveworks says, "Self-centered people usually lack empathy, maybe not entirely, but at least enough that they struggle to put themselves in others' shoes." 

"This is self-centered behavior because it demonstrates that this person has little capacity to be curious about or imagine another person's perspective," says Taneille Smith, a therapist in private practice.  

"People who are self-centered will often do everything on their own terms, without taking your needs or desires into consideration as well."  Smith says this demonstrates that they don't consider anyone's preferences but their own. 

Then what can we do about self-absorbed people?

Ashley Laderer, a freelance writer from New York who specializes in health and wellness says, "If you know somebody who constantly makes everything about themselves or seems to have little to no consideration for others, you are likely dealing with a self-centered person.  Having a relationship of any type with someone like this can leave you feeling emotionally drained or hurt.  If you want to salvage the relationship, be sure to set boundaries and open up about how you feel, but also know that the relationship might need to end for your own sake if extreme self-centered behavior continues." 

While all of this may be good advice, it would be hard for me to set boundaries, be open about my feelings, or end relationships.  I don't want to say or do anything to hurt anyone's feelings.  

But what I can do is be aware that certain people will turn a situation around so they are in the spotlight.  It's like wait for it...

and, there it is.  

So, anticipating this kind of behavior can shield me from absorbing the negative energy a self-absorbed person emits.  

I can't change people who lack self-awareness.  But I can protect myself by expecting narcissistic conduct to crop up.  Because there will always be a few self-centered people in my life.  They may be teachers, students and relatives.  It's up to me to take action, to be proactive.  I have the power to limit the exposure to those who haven't a clue how they're perceived by others.  

À la prochaine!

                                                                                                                                                Courtesy: Smilesbymegan.com 

GETTING NOTICED 

I'll be honest, I get bitter when my writing doesn't impress.  Last month, I entered a popular picture book contest and my submission didn't garner a prize.  Okay, you can't win them all.  

I don't mean to come across as arrogant, but I believe my writing is prize-worthy.  My critique partners, editors, and agents have complimented my work, so I feel a bit justified in feeling let-down.   

Here's the thing: a good number of winners wrote stories about diversity.  So, this could be a reason why my work was not selected.  I don't feel qualified to write these stories. 

So, now I'm having doubts whether to enter the contest again should the opportunity arise next year.  The competition is fierce and more than 1000 people usually enter.  Diversity has been the chief interest of judges for the last four years.  

On the other hand, I feel that entering contests helps one to meet a deadline, to write concisely (if there's a word limit) to practice revising, and to get your work in front of writers, judges, and agents. 

So, what to do?

A lot of writers will say, write for yourself, not to please others.  And I do just that.  I write what I feel in my heart with the hope it will entertain and inspire children to be brave and kind.  Delivering a subtle message wrapped in lyrical language captures my voice.  I believe that stories that are magical, that flow with rhythm, that connect with alliteration, and that sing with assonance invite people to read them over and over because words sound lovely when read out loud and the messages are comforting.  

I will have to think about entering the picture book contest again.  One of the winning entries (all entries are made public) didn't follow the guidelines and exceeded the word count.  Why have rules at all if some judges are willing to avert their eyes?  How fair is that?  Again, I'm bitter because all winners get to have their stories presented to agents without having to query.  And an unqualified entry got to enjoy the perks.  

But enough complaining.  Sometimes life is not fair.  It's time to mourn the loss and move on.  And I did.  Shortly after the winners had been announced, I found a SCBWI webinar on...drum-roll, please...  "Winning short story contests!"  It gave useful tips on how to compose a winning entry (hint:  create a twist ending) the importance of matching a story to judges' tastes, and how to find a slew of writing contests.   

One last thought...

Being one of the winners in the picture book contest would have been a terrific opportunity to have my work in front of agents.  In fact, many of the winners find representation through this event.  But for me, it means I have to keep querying.  Which can be exhausting.  Which can feel futile.  Giving up is not an option.  I want my writing to impress an agent.  To receive a little validation.  To be appreciated.  I'd love to reach an audience.  Writing about diversity is important topic, but magical, lyrical stories are worthy of prizes and they should be noticed, too.   

À la prochaine!

"It is a great thing when your work is appreciated." Jacqueline Fernandez, Sri Lankan actress