Photo: Krakenimages.com 

         
THE PRICE OF BEING HONEST

I am brutally honest.  And with that comes a price.

Some people are offended when I speak my mind and stand up for what I believe.   

Last year, a relative didn't like my honest remarks.  They may have come across as harsh, but I was pointing out the facts.  So, like the famous line in A Few Good Men, she couldn't handle the truth.  In turn, I was not included in the annual family gathering that I had started more than twenty years ago. 

Likewise, my publisher was revengeful because we had a disagreement about the terms in my contract.  Long story short, she told me I was responsible for book returns.  After perusing my contract, I found there wasn't a single clause that said I had to pay for returns.  When I stood up to her false claims:  

My book was removed from the publishing company's library. 

My book is no longer in print on Amazon.

My book can't be found on WorldCat or by a google search using its ISBN number because the publisher doesn't own a copy. 

It stings to be snubbed by family and punished by a publisher.  However, there are ways to deal with these situations.   

In the case of being snubbed, I've found it's best not to persist in trying to reveal my true self to someone who has a negative impression of me.  I can't change the behavior of others.  I can only change my mindset and my reaction.  It's best to stay close to the people who perceive me to be a good person.  They are my kind of people.

As with somebody who seeks revenge, my approach is to avoid confrontation and limit communication.  People who seek revenge want to hurt others, make them fail, and make them feel miserable.  I hold my head high, have faith in myself, and move on.   

I could have given plenty more examples of people in my life who had not treated me well due to my honesty, but these two good examples serve to make the point.  In both instances, the best thing for me is to control the things in my life I can control whether it involves family or publishing.  I can shield myself from the negative behavior by focusing on the good things in my life:  my family, friends, pets, writing, classes, and travels.  

There will likely be more situations where I won't see eye to eye with people.  Confrontations and disagreements will crop up.  It's a given.  However, I will not tolerate ignorant people and I will not bow down to bullies.  Hurt, disrespect, and unkindness may follow.  But it's a price I am willing to pay.    

https://www.refinedprose.com/how-to-deal-with-being-snubbed-positively/ 

https://nathaliemartinekphd.substack.com/p/revenge

À la prochaine!